Minimum wage? Get real

I’m not sure how well I will be able to write down what is in my mind right now as I combine thoughts from two totally different arenas of information, but let’s see if we can do this together:

I suspect you have at least heard about the push that is being attempted to significantly raise the minimum wage.  The idea is that it is too hard to raise a family on what the national minimum wage is right now and so the proposed idea that is floated out for consideration is that we just raise the minimum wage.  There are so many problems with this idea that my computer would shut down before I would be able to write them all out, so I just want to hit a couple of thoughts for you as we connect this all to leadership.

I understand the idea that people can’t “live” on minimum wage, I agree, they can’t.  But minimum wage jobs were never designed to be family sustaining jobs.  They were the starter jobs as you grow, develop, get a deeper education and better ourselves over all.  They were never designed to be the job you keep for several years.  Those jobs pay what they pay because that’s all they’re worth to the economy, the industry and to the owner.  When people demand the minimum wage be increased, they are really demanding that prices everywhere go up because no owner will ever absorb that cost, he will just pass it on to the consumer, or reduce his number of workers so that he is paying out the same amount of money…or both.  Do you really want to be laid off, or have to do more work, or pay higher prices for a hamburger?  No?  Me neither.

I have heard some of the arguments that say that the people are worth more than what they’re being paid in these positions.  If that is true, I repeat, IF that is true then those people can start by working with intention, passion and appreciation for where they’re at right now.  This is a basic truth of life that applies across the board; if we focus on being successful where we’re at, we will greatly increase our chances for advancement.  Christ told His disciples that if we learn to be faithful in a “little”, then we would be given the responsibility of having “more”.  That makes sense.  How do I know you can do the job I want you to do for me?  Well, how are you doing your job now?  How have you done your jobs in the past?  If we have been focused on being successful where we’re working at now, we won’t stay at that level because people will want to advance us.  Don’t you try to keep people close to you that you can trust?

Demanding more for a job that can’t be more is not only foolish it is arrogant.  You don’t demand to get paid more for the job you do, you show that you can selflessly do the job you’re working at now and then you push yourself and you advance.  I would suggest we want to advance not only in our jobs but in life too.  If that is the case then focus on being great right where you work or live or serve today.  Doors will open.

Are you living with intention?

Mary Anne Radmacher is quoted as saying, “Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.”

 

 

I think this is an incredible quote.  She hits a lot of topics all at once.  Live intentionally, but walk to the edge?  Continue to learn while playing with abandon?  Do what you love?  Wow.  I repeat, she says a mouthful all at once.

 

We could talk about all the things she mentions here about life, but what strikes me is how we struggle to do these things.  I would suggest that most of us look at this list that she gives and thinks something along the lines of, “yeah, wouldn’t that be great to be able to do?”  Yeah, it would be great to be able to do.  But here’s the thing; no one can purposefully accomplish any of what she mentions here while enslaved to the emotions of fear, anger, shame, loneliness, guilt, self-doubt, etc.  It is these emotions, and certainly others, that can hold us back and keep us from not only accomplishing what we want to do in life, but also just living the life before us.

 

 

I would also suggest that out of all that she says, how she starts out is one of the biggest parts of o

ur success in life; to live intentionally.  How many things did you do yesterday that were intentional for you to accomplish your goals, achieve your ideas or further what you’re passionate about?  I’m not talking about your work, or I suppose I should say just your work, I’m talking about goals or life direction or life passions.  How much did you intentionally do to further……you?

Not that much?  Well, I certainly understand that but that one part can affect all the others in her quote, especially the suggestion she gives when she says, “laugh”.  Can you remember the last time you laughed so hard you cried?  Can you remember the last time you laughed with abandonment?  Can you remember the last time you walked to the edge of life….and jumped?

 

Sick and tired of being SICK AND TIRED

Peter Shepherd is quoted as saying, “healing comes from taking responsibility:  to realize that it is you – and no one else – that creates your thoughts, your feelings and your actions.”

This is a great thought.  When we take responsibility for ourselves, our thoughts, feelings and actions, then the sky is the limit.  We know all this in our heads, logically.  But we struggle to connect all this in our hearts, emotionally.  Yes, we are the ones who control what we think and what thoughts our minds dwell on.  Sure, there is great truth in that, but that’s not the whole story.

Because of life, things that happen to us, things that happen because of us….it’s not so easy to control out thoughts, feelings and actions.  In fact, out of all the different parts of Mr. Shepherds quote that we can easily miss is the first word, “healing”.  Healing begins with taking responsibility but that’s the rub.  Our fear, or our pain, or our guilt, or our anger can easily prevent us from taking control of anything.  If we’ve been hurt, or abused or victimized in some way, it’s very difficult to take responsibility and begin to work through our feelings to work on our thoughts to then change our actions. 

Even though it is difficult, it is the way healing does begin.  The struggle comes when we try to do the healing on our own.  One of the first things we have to do is one of the most difficult things for us to ever do…trust someone to help us.  Perhaps that’s why so many of us struggle to work through our pain and begin to really heal.  Perhaps that’s why you haven’t started your healing.

Are you sick and tired of being sick and tired?  The first thing you may want to do is realize that you’re going to need to trust at least two people.  Yourself, and someone who can help you.  

Dealing with life daily is rather EASY!

One of the corporate clients that I work with is an Assisted Living company.  I was recently talking with one of the directors for a facility of theirs and she was telling me about a recent conversation she had enjoyed with one of their residents.

It seemed that they were celebrating a birthday for one of their residents that week.  The resident was celebrating her 97^th birthday.  Her family was throwing a big party and the whole facility was enjoying the celebration.  The director had sat down next to another resident as they enjoyed their cake together.  The resident looked at the director and asked, “what are we celebrating again?”  She explained that one of her friends had turned 97 and they were celebrating her birthday.  The resident responded, “97?  Wait until she hits 103, then she can celebrate.”  Yes, the resident speaking was 103 years old.  Turning 97 wasn’t that big of a deal to her.

I suspect you have heard the phrase, “it’s all about perspective”?  Yes, indeed it is.

I remember Zig Ziglar once saying that one of the greatest things we can do is keep an attitude that is positive and helpful.  Yes.  Changing our attitude is the quickest thing we can do to change our perspective.  Most of us know this and yet most of us, I would suggest, don’t work all that hard to protect, enhance or use our attitude as a positive tool to deal with the curveballs of life.  How are your relationships?  How is your financial situation?  How is your job going?  I could continue to list out areas of our lives, but the question to follow each of questions is, “how’s your attitude with each of these life areas?”  Maybe things in these areas can’t or won’t get better, but what your attitude is will greatly affect how you deal with situations in each of these life areas.  And, with a more positive and healthy attitude, we are more likely to find the solutions we are looking for as we deal with our daily lives.

Yes, it’s all about perspective and that is greatly affected by our attitude.  Turning 97 years old?  That’s not a big deal when you’re 103 and I suspect that even she would tell you that life is too short to waste a bad attitude on.

 

Do you TRUST yourself?

Are you a “Star Trek” fan?  “I’m Captain James T. Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise….”.  How many times have you heard that before?    If you are a Star Trek Fan then you can fill in several blanks after that announcement.

I caught just a few minutes of the latest Star Trek movie, one of the new ones with Chris Pine as the “new Kirk”.  Kirk and Spock are in a heated debate about something that Kirk is about to do and it is very “illogical”.  As they are debating about what to do and what Kirk is about to do, Kirk says, “I don’t have a clue what I’m supposed to do, I only know what I can do”.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, I only know what I can do.  Hhhmmmm.  That is quite a concept to consider.  One of the things we struggle with on many, many levels is trust.  We don’t trust each other, we don’t trust our families, parents, children, spouses, employers, politicians….do I need to go on?  No, you get the point.

But, one of the people we struggle to trust the most is ourselves.  The decisions, do you trust yourself to make the decisions? I would suggest that one of the things we struggle with the most is our confidence in ourselves to make the tough decisions that we all face throughout our lives.

That’s why it is so important to know who we are and to understand at the core level of our being what the purpose of our life is.  Do you know what you’re supposed to do?  No?  Then do you know what you can do, and more importantly, do you trust yourself and your instincts to do it?

Are you a GOOD listener?

I was reading John Maxwell’s 101 series the other day and I can across a list that he gives about being a better listener.  Quite interesting.

Maxwell identifies that when we actively listen we accomplish several things.  Good listening shows respect, it helps us deepen our relationships, it increases our knowledge, it generates ideas, builds loyalty and lays the groundwork to help people overall.  When we look at that list of what listening does, it certainly makes sense and I would argue that it is a very basic list.  Basic, but everything builds off of this basic list.

Along with identifying what actively listening accomplishes, Maxwell gives a list of suggestions on how to develop good listening skills.  Again, this is a basic list but it makes total sense and is a good reminder.  To become a better listener we need to look at whoever is speaking.  We need to learn to not interrupt and purposefully focus on understanding what is being said.  He suggests that we keep a reign on our emotions so that instead of listening properly, we wind up venting or taking over the conversation.  He also suggests we suspend judgment, and to sum up what we think we’re hearing when the conversation arrives at major intervals.  He reminds us also to ask questions for clarity and to always purposefully make good listening a priority to continually work on.

But, he also tells us to determine the need at the moment.  I think this may be one of the most missed points of good listening.  He reminds us of basic human understanding and how it affects how we listen to people.  Men usually communicate to fix a problem and figure out a resolution.  Women on the other hand are much more likely to talk about a problem just to communicate.  They aren’t looking for a resolution, they are just sharing.  Whenever we can identify the needs of the person talking, or where their starting point is, it will affect how we listen in every way.

I would humbly suggest that we all can benefit from a reminder on good listening skills.  I suspect we’ve all been on the receiving end of a conversation where we’re trying to talk to someone and they are not actively listening to us.  We disengage and make a mental note to not share so much with that person in the future…and I suspect none of us want to be the person to cause someone else to shut down just because we don’t listen very well.

What to do with the emotions

I don’t know if you’re a college basketball fan or not, but this weekend saw something unique and sad.  Marcus Smart, a player for the Oklahoma State Cowboys men’s basketball team was involved in a play under the basket where he landed a few rows into the seats, nothing unusual about that.  But as Marcus was getting up off of the floor, all of a sudden he jumped up got in the face of a fan of their opponent (Texas Tech) and then shoved the fan.

Marcus said that he heard the fan call him a racial slur.  But, after an investigation of not only the fan that was shoved but the fans around the man who was accused of saying something racial, the conclusion of the investigation was that nothing racial was said at all.  The fan did admit to yelling, “You’re a piece of crap”, at the player but nothing else.  Apparently that was enough to incite Marcus to attack and shove a fan in the stands.  Sad and stupid.

Marcus Smart has now been suspended for three games. He has apologized to the fan he shoved, the fans of both Oklahoma State and Texas Tech, the universities, his teammates, a couple of animals and the Easter Bunny because he doesn’t want to be left out of his candy this year.  As he apologized he explained that he lost control of his emotions and lashed out inappropriately.  Yep.  That’s a pretty good assessment of what happened, and now everything is going to be more difficult.  Now, every arena he plays in he will be emotionally pushed as the opposing teams’ fans will be going after him as hard as they can.  He has just shown his opponents on and off the court that he can be affected and they will go after him.

All of us have been there.  Perhaps not on TV and in front of thousands of people in a basketball arena but we’ve all been there.  Even though we know better and even though we will later apologize and wish we hadn’t done it, we have all lost control of our emotions.  We scream, yell, attack, throw things, punch walls, stomp around or stomp out of the room, all because we lose control.  Do I need to keep going?  No, I didn’t think so.

I would suggest for you to consider how when we lose control of our emotions, several times it’s because we’re upset with something or someone else.  We transfer our emotions from one situation or person to another and then blow our stack leaving us embarrassed, upset, and apologetic.  I have no idea if that was part of what Mr. Smart was dealing with that day, but I know that all of us reading this blog struggle with transferring our emotions at different times.  We transfer emotion, blow our stack and then things get worse.  For us, it’s not worse because our opponent knows our weakness, no its worse for us because we are reminded again of just how weak we can be. 

How can we stop this “insanity cycle”?  There are several parts to that answer, but I would strongly suggest it all begins with communication, where you identify what you’re dealing with and more importantly what the trigger was that created that emotional surge in you.  Working through the emotion when it hits can save us from some real problems later. 

Or, we can stay in our emotional blind spots, hurt the people that are most important to us and we can feel sad, small and weak.  I don’t know about you but I’m tired of feeling emotionally weak, I suspect Marcus Smart feels the same way.

Attributes of a successful person

In the last blog we discussed what the definition of success is. We looked at what John Maxwell says success is, “Success is knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential and sowing seeds that benefit others.”  Yeah, that sounds good.  But what can that look like?

I recently read a list of attributes of a successful person.  Putting what Maxwell says with this list is pretty incredible.  A successful person has to be willing to do the “hard things”:

• You have to make the call you’re afraid to make
• You have to get up earlier than you want to get up
• You have to give more than you get in return right away
• You have to care more about others than they care about you
• You have to fight when you’re already injured, bloody and sore
• You have to feel unsure and insecure when playing it safe seems smarter
• You have to lead when no one else is following you yet
• You have to invest in yourself when though no one else is
• You have to look like a fool while you’re looking for answers you don’t have
• You have to grind out the details when it’s easier to shrug them off
• You have to deliver results when making excuses is an option
• You have to search for your own explanations even when you’re told to accept the “facts”
• You have to make mistakes and look like an idiot
• You have to try and fail and try again
• You have to run faster even though you’re out of breath
• You have to be kind to people who have been cruel to you
• You have to meet deadlines that are unreasonable and deliver results that are unparalleled
• You have to be accountable for your actions even when things go wrong
• You have to keep moving towards where you want to be no matter what’s in front of you

I would suggest the people who are able to have these attributes will certainly enjoy a level of success in their life.

You have no real purpose

In his book, “Success 101”, John Maxwell tries to answer the question of what is success?  He says, “most people have a vague picture of what it means to be a successful person that looks something like this:

• The wealth of Bill Gates
• The physique of Arnold Schwarzenegger, or Marilyn Monroe
• The intelligence of Albert Einstein
• The athletic ability of Michael Jordan
• The business prowess of Donald Trump
• The social grace of Jackie Kennedy
• The imagination of Walt Disney
• The heart of Mother Teresa”

When I look at his idea here and the list he gives, I think he’s on to something.  We seem to pick the best attributes of other people and compare ourselves to them, or those supposed attributes and somehow always come up lacking.

Maxwell then goes on to give his definition of what success is:

“Success is knowing your purpose in life, growing to reach your maximum potential and sowing seeds that benefit others.”

I don’t know what your definition of success is, but that’s a great definition.  You will notice that the difference in first definition and the second definition is all about being the best we each can be, not just “being the best”.  What is that?  What the “best” is for one person is not the “best” for the next person, but if I’m trying to reach my potential and just be the best I can be that’s a whole other matter and it easier to focus on.

Do you know who you are and what your purpose in life is?  Do you have any idea what your potential is?  I guarantee it is more than you think right now.  Have you made a difference in the lives of the people around you?  If you accomplish those three things in life, that would be a great and full life.

 

Reminding you of what you already know!

Several years ago I was driving along on the highway after a bad storm had come through that winter.  It wasn’t snowing, or icing at the time but the night before it had been a bad storm and the highways were still not the greatest in the world.  I was driving too fast on the bad roads.  I know that, but as I was traveling along I was passed by another car that was really moving along.  I watched as the car continued to move ahead of me and then it seemed to literally just be picked up and thrown over the embankment.  The wind was really gusting that day, but I had no idea it was that bad.  I stopped and climbed down to the car where the driver had already called 911.  I stayed until the authorities arrived and then went on my way, but I have always remembered that day, and the driver who was still trying to figure out what happened as I looked at him that day.  The car had been picked up, flipped over, and then landed on its wheels at the bottom of the embankment.  The driver was unhurt but we both knew he was very, very blessed to be ok.

I thought about that day again as I have seen different images of Atlanta as they deal with the power of nature.  I thought about that day and how we fool ourselves a lot of the time into thinking that we are in control of our lives.  The man I watched was literally just driving down the road.  Yes, he was driving too fast of icy roads but that said, the wind is what took him out.  There was no warning.  The people of Atlanta have been reminded just how fragile our “systems” are as everything shut down and people have been stranded for hours.

I would like to take this moment to remind us all of what we already know.  Count your blessings.  Do you enjoy good health, money to take care of your needs, people who allow you around them even though they know your faults and mistakes?  Then you are blessed indeed.  Have you enjoyed these blessings for some time?  Then you are truly blessed indeed.

We are all one instant away from moving from being in control to being totally out of control.  I encourage you to recognize the blessings in your life and enjoy them while you can.  Again, I remind you of what we already know but, “tomorrow is promised to no man”.